January 27, 2023
Attending my first Indian Wedding
When I got married seven years ago, my wedding was extremely low-key. I have been to a few traditional American weddings, all full of love but nothing like what I just experienced attending my first South Indian wedding. As I arrived at the wedding venue in Mysore, India, I was greeted by an entrance engulfed in pink and white flowers and green palm leaves wrapped within. As I stepped inside, my eyes floated between all the remarkably well-dressed guests. My ears immediately pulled my attention to the traditional Indian wedding band as the sound of what I came to find out is known as one of the loudest instruments could not be ignored: a Nadaswara, a traditional Indian wind instrument. A Thavil drum, harmonium, and saxophone perfectly complemented the Nadaswara.
I took in all of the views before I was quickly swept away to join in on the first event of the day, Mehendi, also known as henna. The henna artist was so quick and smooth with his designs; it seemed wild that he did it with no stencil. I love my designs and what Mehendi is associated with, positive spirits and good luck. One of the aunties even said to me that the darker your paste stains, the more the man in your life loves you; as I interacted with the bride and groom later in the day, I felt much truth to that statement because the brides henna was so darkly stained on her hands and standing right next to her was her groom with the biggest smile on his face; you could see how in love with her he is.
As the day continued, many other rituals and photoshoots were conducted, along with many opportunities to eat; oh, do the Indian people feed their wedding guests well!
There was some time left open for the guest to interact throughout the day while the wedding venue was transformed from one activity to the next. All the transformations were gorgeous, never lacking color and romance. One of my favorite memories was during this downtime, sitting outside under palm trees as the sun was setting for the day. Many family members sat around in a circle, and for what seemed like quite some time, uncles and aunties and their children shared in conversation and laughter; these times are what is magical to me about marriage, two families joining together to make the most out of what is important in life, love.
As we sailed into the evening, I had been looking forward to the dancing portion of the night. When I originally looked at the wedding invite that broke down the wedding events, next to the word Sangeet, which translates to “sung together,” was a picture of the couple dancing. The whole day I was under the impression that it would be something close to a typical American dance floor. It wasn’t until I made my way to the dance room that my stage fright arose as I quickly learned that it was more of what I would call a sporadic talent show! Family members from both sides of the family took turns getting on stage, singing, and dancing, which I learned was a beautiful demonstration of relatives and friends of both the bride and groom celebrating the union of not only the couple but the bonding of the two families. I was eventually called out on the mic to join in on stage. Although initially terrified, I was quickly taken under the wing of many family members, and my self-consciousness began to fade away. Trying to keep up with the wrist flicks, shaking of my shoulders, and twisting my hips was not easy. Still, all the family members were welcoming and willing to show me the traditional Indian dance moves, never laughing at me but rather with me. Indians have some serious dance moves, and I envy their confidence; I recommend you second guess before ever challenging an Indian person to a dance-off!
The next morning, following a provided breakfast, the Hindu marriage ceremony began, known as the Muhurtham. The couple and their priest conducted many rituals, all very fascinating to watch and admire. One ritual that stuck with me was the Kanyadana. During the Kanyadana, the bride and groom hold their hands together as a coconut is placed in their hands, and then the bride’s family members line up to come and pour milk over the coconut and say their blessings, and ask for the groom to take care of their girl. Many times, during the wedding, the bride’s father told me how happy he was for his daughter; you could really feel the love between them, so watching the bride’s father stay near her during this time was very beautiful to watch.
Overall, my first Indian wedding experience was a delight. I was so well looked after by both families. I got the impression that I was not just some outside guest but rather accepted by the family as one of them. Feeling supported and guided through all stages of the wedding is something I feel honored to have been gifted. I look forward to one day being able to experience another Indian wedding, but for now, I wish the newlyweds a beautiful marriage and express my gratitude for them letting me be a part of their special event.
