February 7, 2024

Sometimes We Butterfly

It’s been a slippery slope this week because it seemed my health was only declining while we were going on our trip to Hampi. I truthfully really, really, really did not want to go but I had friends and mentors cheering me on to keep trying with my participation.

I thought, maybe…. the fresh air and new environment would heal me from the urbanization of Bangalore. And in some ways it did: the clear blue skies brought me smiles I was missing from back home. I got snuggled and loved by all the big variety of chunky doggies, that are polar opposite in size but not in love from my handsome chiweenie ‘Blessit’ back home. I got to swim once again, with only half a lung available; I pretended to be a rock warlock, the sand king, and of course the iconic Ariel.

I won’t lie; I still dealt with 4-5 hours of sleeplessness, and the constant retching from coughing and the shredding pain of every meal nearly clinging to the walls of my dry throat. But, even with all this, God reminds me of the blessings I face in my most stressful times.

Today, February 6th, on the way to find dinner, I saw the most beautiful black and violet butterfly, lying on the ground limply flapping her wings. I used my phone to support one wing, and she sprang to life and flew into the safety of a tree. She is definitely me. I am once more having the memories of home given to me as a token of clarity, to keep my eyes on the prize even though there is so much screaming in my head to just go home, to give up, to succumb to my sorrows.

No, that has never been me to throw in the towel.
I will follow Ms. Butterfly and shelter myself and continue to face the unknowns of the new world I live in because just like her I am making transformations that remind me life is scary and treacherous and painful but my life shall prosper.

By Aaliyah