January 10, 2023

5 Deep Breaths

Embarking on this journey with the GCIL program, I had many hopes and dreams, and with that, expectations. Sometimes, the expectations grew overwhelming. I remember feeling really anxious the first couple of days in Bangalore as I thought about all that I had left behind in Washington, from my projects to my classes to cherished friends & family. I wondered if I was doing a good job— if I was trying hard enough to make the most out of this program.

However, as I observed the bustling, vibrant city of Bangalore through the windows of our meandering bus rides, I found myself lost in awe. Gradually, I was reminded of the importance of just appreciating the moment. I was reminded that trying my best sometimes meant taking a step back, that being productive sometimes meant not forcing anything, and that the most effective approach to tackling grand challenges sometimes meant simply observing first.

Kate, a fellow GCIL student, brought up the importance of focusing on the breath in one of our conversations about yoga. So for today, whenever I noticed myself overthinking or getting a little anxious, I reminded myself to take 5 deep breaths, grounding myself to the present moment.

Today, we woke up at the crack of dawn to visit the Krishnarajendra Market, one of the largest wholesale markets in Bangalore.

Inhale, exhale.

I observed the intricacies of the flower stands, with the vendors meticulously stringing together tiny blossoms into huge, festive garlands.

Later, we were welcomed at Jain University and had the honor of meeting the team behind Radio Active, Bangalore’s first community radio station.

Inhale, exhale.

I found myself immersed in note taking as I heard about the station’s fascinating work, giving marginalized people a voice in important issues like mental health and HIV human rights.

We met Uma, a transgender woman who suffered countless hardships in order to embrace her identity and now advocates for trans rights in India.

Inhale, exhale.

I really connected with Uma’s story and was incredibly moved by her tenacity. Despite growing up feeling completely alone and suffering incessant abuse, she continues to fight for her community today.

We then attended a program inauguration by the BMS College of Engineering.

Inhale, exhale.

Rather than worrying too much about formalities, I experienced a newfound-appreciation for all the students and faculty involved in GCIL and our collective desire for social impact.

Finally, we ended the day on a high note with a class on Odissi and Kalari from Priya, an experienced dancer.

Inhale, exhale.

I relaxed, admiring the form and flow of Priya’s movements, as well as my classmates’ enthusiastic attempts.

With these 5 grounding breaths, I was able to stop feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and engage deeper with every experience. Today for me was a reminder that there is no need to chase after every single thrill. No need to always be trying to prove myself to others. No need to force my own happiness.

I’m grateful just to be here.