February 16, 2023

Today Ain’t It

I started my day in Bangalore strong, waking up at 7am sharp and doing a workout on the balcony. I love feeling the fresh morning breeze while stretching and just casually watching hawks soar through the sky. It’s one of my cherished daily rituals.

The rest of my morning was also quite pleasant. I walked to the xerox shop and observed the busy streets, lined with vibrant flower stands and homely shops. It’s always interesting to watch people pass by and ponder about where they might be headed, what kind of problems they might be trying to solve today, and what kind of life they are hoping to live. Following the walk, I had a productive day at Parikrma. I researched into impact evaluation frameworks, had a spicy conversation with some of the coworkers at lunch, and played with the most bright, adorable children. I learned a new game with some of the girls that involved pointing at each other and then pretending to step on each other’s toes.

Then, the day took a turn for the worse. My lack of sleep hit hard in the afternoon, and I collapsed in the hostel after work. What was supposed to be a quick rest ended up being a full on nap, and even after I woke up, I still felt restless. I tried to play some piano to relax, but that just ended up stressing me out even more since I realized I needed to prepare for a piano performance at the Parikrma graduation ceremony tomorrow. So, I decided to switch gears and take a dinner break, where I attempted to strike up a conversation with some BMS kids and ended up causing some awkward silence. Feeling defeated and exhausted, I returned to my room and begrudgingly opened my laptop to do more work. This was when my friend, Chloe, came back. As I shared my frustrations, Chloe reminded me of something important: There will always be more to do, more to improve, more unfinished work. But we get to decide for ourselves how much is enough.

As we adjust to the new and exciting environment in Bangalore, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the amount of things we want to do. When things don’t go as planned, it’s natural to want to push ourselves even harder. Today, after my afternoon crash, I felt that way. But hey, sometimes we just have an off day. And that’s okay. Maybe sometimes, instead of trying to fix everything so relentlessly, it’s better to just call it a day and tackle it again tomorrow. That way, we can avoid burning ourselves out and prepare for new insights and opportunities that will inevitably arise after a good night’s sleep.

I’m going to bed now.

By Rachel